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Facing Schoolyard Bullies The start of a new school year is exciting for students who look forward to making new friends, seeing old friends and meeting new challenges. However, for many youth, this time of year is also filled with fear and anxiety about facing schoolyard bullies once again. "The fall is always a time for schools and parents to be extra vigilant about recognizing and responding to bullying among students," according to Michelle Beaulieu Cooke, MPH, director of the Violence Prevention Program at Connecticut Children's Medical Center. "The start of each school year offers the opportunity to set a new climate in which bullying is not tolerated and youth can feel safe from fear, intimidation and harm." So what can parents and schools do to help prevent bullying? First, Cooke says, all adults need to realize that bullying is not a right of passage that children will simply grow out of. While most Americans are beginning to realize that bullying can have serious long-term consequences for bullies, victims and even children who witness other children being bullied, many adults still consider bullying to be just part of "being a kid." The first step to protecting children from bullying is recognizing bullying for what it is: aggressive, intentional behavior that causes emotional, physical and/or social harm to children. "Parents and teachers who don't take the problem seriously only reinforce to the bully that they can get away with their actions," Cooke says. Next, adults need to let children know that bullying is not acceptable behavior, and they need to follow-through on this statement. At school, this can mean setting new behavior codes that explicitly state that bullying is not tolerated at the school, that teachers and other staff will respond immediately and consistently to all incidents of bullying, and that encourage students to let adults know if they or other students are being bullied. Cooke adds that parents can play a role by looking for signs of bullying in their children. Some children are afraid to tell even their families that they are being bullied at school, so parents need to be on the lookout for warning signs. "If you notice a drastic change in your child's normal behavior or sleep habits, fear of playing outside, social withdrawal or isolation, or fear of going to school, something's wrong," she says. "Other signs to look for include damaged clothes or belongings, unexplained cuts or bruises, depression, anxiety, unusual moodiness, and poor appetite and headaches in the morning." Parents who discover their child is being bullied should encourage the child to talk with them about the problem and offer extra praise and encouragement to help offset the effects of bullying on the child's confidence. Parents should work with the school to help the child develop new friendships and avoid situations in which bullying can occur. Keeping in close contact with the school will help reassure the child that he is safe, will keep teachers informed of ongoing problems and will allow parents to ensure that the situation improves. In severe cases of bullying, both bullies and victims may benefit from counseling sessions to help reduce the risk of long-term effects of bullying on self-esteem, academic achievement, problem behaviors and mental health. "While children should never be put in the position of having to deal with bullies on their own, there are a few steps that children can take to help avoid being bullied," according to Cooke. First, children should tell their parents or another trusted adult immediately when bullying occurs. Second, children should try not to retaliate against the bully or get angry. Third, children who are bullied should try to avoid situations where bullying can occur by staying close to their friends or adults at times when bullying usually happens. Finally, when faced with a bully, children should try to respond firmly or simply walk away without getting noticeably upset. "While no single approach will solve the problem of bullies in our schools, by working together, parents, schools and children can help set a climate in which bullying is simply not tolerated," Cooke believes. "By doing this, they create schools in which all children can learn and play free of fear and intimidation."